How To Make and Keep Friends in Your Twenties

Today’s Personal Life post is inspired by Paul Angone’s Secret #3 from 101 Secrets For your Twenties. 

The typical Monday through Friday work routine can feel very mundane and therefore exhausting. It is very easy to fall into a set routine so things, and people, outside this routine can easily be over looked. It can be so tempting to come home from a day of work and just pass out on the couch. It’s not scientifically proven, but this is most likely the reason why so many friendships dwindle away after college. We twentysomething young professionals need to fit room somewhere in our busy schedule for our friendships. The question is why and how?

Why We Need Friends

We need friends for multiple reasons. We need a support group to help us through times of depression and to help us move into our new apartment. We need friends to keep us laughing, to have fun with and to stay happy. Having friends also helps us grow personally and professionally.

How To Make Friends

Join clubs, groups, communities in areas of your interests to find like minded people, but don’t be afraid to try something new. Start by getting involved with a company sponsored event like intramural sports. Get involved in your church community or another favorite local community spot.

My Best Two Goals For Making New Friends:

1. Learn to start attending events alone.

2. Leave for a new event straight from work.

Whether you’re starting a new weekly activity or going to a one time event, these goals will help you follow through with attending. Having the confidence to go to something alone will not let you fall back on your scapegoat – “I couldn’t find anyone to go with me.” Not having someone to go with you to an event should not be be an excuse, especially if you are 100% free to go alone. You don’t need the confidence of the most popular guy in the room, you just need to confidence to get you inside the door. The first time you go alone will feel awkward, but the more you do the less awkward it will feel. Learning how to attending an event alone is my number one piece of advice for making friends in your twenties.

For events during the week I highly recommend you leave straight from work; do not go home. I can almost guarantee that when you get home you will settle in with your nice warm bowl of ramen noddle soup with the Roku remote in hand ready to watch back to back episodes of your favorite TV show. You will find some excuse to skip your event.

Set these two goals for yourself today.

How To Keep Friends

Getting someone from “Facebook friend I met once” to “live in person friend” can seem almost impossible at times. I cannot put it better than Paul Angone himself with Secret #70,

Making and keeping friends in your 20s takes intentionality.”

“Intentionality.” You need to put in the effort to keep your friends. The best way, I think, to put intentionality to work is through practical action steps.

3 Practical Action Steps For Keeping Friends

1. Make contact weekly – I find calling and writing letters to be the most personal but busy schedules may reduce you to text messages.

2. Remember birthdays and special occasions – Do something special for these dates, try sending them a card or gift.

3. Make at least one plan per week to meet up with a new or old friend.

We are not going to make friends with everyone and some friendships will inevitably grow apart. We need to persevere with our intentionality and not get stuck in the every day routine.  

How do you make and keep friends in your twenties?


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