How To Build Your Future

In my last post we talked about the harms of searching for glory and the tyranny of should. We need to remember that we could fall into a search for glory at any time in any part of our life.

In The Defining Decade, Dr. Meg Jay speaks of a young women, Talia, who first started having sessions with her because of her search for glory. Talia soon found a good job as a marketing analyst. Even though it was not the most glorious or easiest job she felt accomplished.

One day she came into Dr. Meg Jay’s office talking in “shoulds” and “supposed to’s” …again. This time she was talking about traveling and finding herself. When Dr. Meg Jay reminded Talia to think in reality, not ideals Talia admitted all she wanted was to move back home. She knew she wanted to go home but all her new friends were saying she was silly for wanting to settle down so soon. They could not understand why she wanted to give up the life she created for herself in this new city.

Sometimes we have to listen to ourselves even if everyone else disagrees. Twentysomethings who take these defining years seriously will have to be courageous to act against the norm. People may not understand why you want to get so serious about a job or having a family so soon, but this might be what you want.

“Adult life is built of… person, place and thing: who we are with, where we live, and what we do for a living. We start our lives with whichever of these we know something about.”

Talia decided to move back home. She wanted to be near her family. She wanted to meet someone to start a family with near her home town so when the day came her children could grow up seeing their grandparents regularly.

Whatever your want in your career or personal life, listen to your unthought knowns then act upon it. Listen then do it. Make that your motto. Only you can take care of you and only you have to live with the results.

Reach your potential in your personal life by building the life you want.  If you know the place you want to live, live there. Collect experience and capital around there. If you know what you want to do, go where you need to go to gain experience towards that position. If you are lucky enough to have found your special someone, work together to find what work for you both. Find a way where your place and thing can work together. Maybe you’re like Talia and your person is your family. Whatever it might be you can see how just knowing one thing can start the process of building your life.

*All quotes from this post and this post series come from The Defining Decade and should be accredited to Dr. Meg Jay.*

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10 thoughts on “How To Build Your Future

  1. Great post Katie! I encountered a lot of criticism when I worked on getting out of debt in my early twenties. My friends just couldn’t understand why I didn’t want to go to a movie or play golf with them. However, I kept on doing what I wanted to do and now i’m debt free and free to do whatever I want! To all twentysomethings: don’t listen to the haters, just do your thing!

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  3. I like the idea of the unthought knowns that Dr. Jay introduces. It’s true that we often take for granted the things that are most dear to us and that we want the most. If we pay attention to them, we can then create the life that will make us feel most satisfied. Good overview, Katie.

    • It is a weird conundrum because if we know what we want, you’d think we would just naturally go for it, but there’s something that makes us scared. Something that holds us make from admitting the truth and just going for it.

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